Capitalist Messages in Thomas the Tank Engine

Most of us, at prime Thomas-watching stage (if that was our era), didn’t really notice the socioeconomic philosophies the show pressed on us. It was a lot more like “OMFG HOLY CRAP IT’S A TRAIN!!” than “PROPAGANDA! THEY ARE FEEDING ME PROPAGANDA WITH MY ZWIEBACK CEREAL!!”. Now, before I really get into this post, I should note that I’m not watching Thomas on my own time. There is a two year old in my family who looovvveeesss the show. Anyway, here is a rather incriminating episode of ttte called “Trouble In The Shed”

In the episode, James, Gordan, and Henry refuse to shunt (I’m not entirely sure what ”shunt” means in relation to trains, but it sounds kind of dirty). They will not shunt because they are “tender engines”, and “tender engines don’t shunt”. So, they go on strike. This causes the Fat Controller (Sir Topham Hatt in the American version), to use Thomas, Edward, and Percy as scabs. Of course, this causes the three striking trains to learn a valuable lesson, that the capitalist swine are always right. Also notice how strikers are put in a bad light, as if to say that people who try to change anything at their workplace are lazy and think that they are too important to do their jobs. Do you really think Sir Topham Hatt would shunt if the trains needed him to? Of course not!

Another particularly reactionary episode of Thomas the Tank Engine would be that of Bulgy. Not included in the video I found (but I think is in one of the books),  Bulgy says: “Pah! Enjoyment’s all you engines live for! Taking the petrol from the tanks of us workers! Come the Revolution, railways’ll be ripped up.”

He is a “mean scarlet deceiver”, according to the show. Like capitalism, this episode makes light of lives, like in the part where Duck says that it would serve Bulgy right if the bridge fell on him because he told a lie. It also suggests that radical leftists should be quieted (and turned into hen houses, perhaps?) Also notice that “Bulgy” sounds a lot like “Bolshie”, and the quote; “A man with a red flag! That means danger!”

In Thomas, the trains work, but don’t really get to have any fun. If they goof off, something very bad happens to them. They have to be “the really useful crew”, as heard in the annoyingly catchy theme song, or else. In the show, there is no stern warnings or time outs, there is derailing. Another reason that the trains must be useful because the show looks like it is set around the time when diesel trains came into widespread use, in the 1930s or 40s. All the trains in Thomas are steam, so they are at risk of being replaced.

Also, does Sir Topham Hatt not seem to have “capitalist swine” written all over his face?

Man, they really need to get The Smurfs back on air to give the kids some communist viewpoints.

Ich Bin Ein Rot.

Translation: “I Am A Red”.

Anyway, I am currently learning German. In a class. Yes, I do believe in a classless society, but this is the cool type. My pinko friend Elena wanted me to mention this.

Catchy song auf Deutsch, anyone?

One of the things I like to do to put what I know of German in context is to write comics in it. Quite fun to do, and this is the first time that doodling stick figures has actually HELPED my edumakashun. Sooner or later I will scan these gems, and maybe post a few.

I have also realised how close German and Yiddish are. You see, Yiddish is a mixture of Hebrew and German, you know, before that mix equaled bad things (Not saying all Germans are Nazis or anything). Unlike my knowledge of Yiddish, the German that Ich kenne so far is mostly conversational, when the conversation isn’t towards the vending machine that ate my dollar.

German is fun to learn, though. Especially because of all the AWESOME PEOPLE IN MY CLASS, and the AWESOME PEOPLE TEACHING MY CLASS.

Ich leibe ihr!

BREAKING NEWS, DINGOBLOG READER(S)!!!

I got a button with a picture of Trotsky on it!

Mein Hut (My Hat) Isn't it purty?

As you may know, I happen to think that Trotsky is awesome, and I peed myself a little when I saw that button. No, I will NOT post pictures of that.

(You’ll just see it on You Tube in a few days)

That’s So JOLLY!

 

So, my sister read in a blog somewhere (she doesn’t remember which one), that suggested instead of calling something “gay” when it is stupid, calling it “jolly”. She began saying this after accidently calling something “gay” in that context to her gay hairdresser, and we have used it ever since. The reasons I bring this up are;

1) Today is National Coming Out Day

2) I splatter-painted a car rainbow on Friday and it was FUN!

It was with the owner's permission, of course. We were going to drive it in a parade, but it rained on our parade and it was cancelled.

 I am (for all I know), a straight woman who just wears flannel shirts and rainbow alot. I understand that it can seem like I’m gay, but I really don’t mind. I’m not insulted by it, and I think the reason that guys aren’t lining up at my doorstep has less to do with them thinking I’m a lesbian but more the fact that I’m a bit of a whackjob. Still, I am very much for LGBTQ rights, because not only do I think everybody should be treated equally, but with the amount of times I may have been discriminated against because it seems like I’m gay it almost feels like I’m fighting for my own rights. Maybe you could say that I’m like a metrosexual, but a chick version?

What really makes me want to beat conservative, Christian, anti-homo types with a rainbow flag is that supposedly Jesus loved EVERYBODY! This includes gay people! Maybe he really looovvveeed everybody. Hehe, that may give those jerks with the “god hates fags” signs heart attacks. You know, someone who was a genuine “patriotic American” and “Christian” would probably be extremely accepting of everyone and so far to the left of the aisle that they would not even be in the building, but in fact standing outside with a sign, a megaphone, a dream, and according to the suspicions of some Secret Service guys, a pipe bomb. Why? America was founded by change and revolution, and Karl Marx even appreciated Jefferson’s writings.  Also, Jesus was a cool, radical dude who helped and loved everybody. I personally am not religious in any way, but I think if Jesus or any other majour deity was real they would be cool with gays and everybody else. So, Americans who flip or burn the flag because they want something better are the most patriotic of all of us, while those who put it on their car and think that there is no progress to be made are the truly anti-American ones. People who don’t believe others shouldn’t be helped aren’t Christians.

Now, I don’t care who you are, say it with me;

Dingo’s Back to Skewl Tips

Tis the season for kids across America to duck and cover. Why? Its almost time to go back to that…place. With the *shudders* LEARNING!! Now, Dingo of humourous commie blog obscurity has created a list of ways for kids to survive returning to hell on earth. You could say that I’m reaching out to the children of the world in a way that wouldn’t get me arrested (RIP MJ).  Without further ado, your sketchy advice!

1) Don’t start sobbing when the back to school sale adverts start showing. They typically start about two days into vacation. Instead, a few days before you go back when you want to strangle the Sears exec who came up with the “Don’t come back, ARRIVE!” thing, rip the components out of your TV and hide inside.

2) Start your own religion which disallows school. When they still try to make you go, sue.

3) If you are really small and cute, pout and cry. It may get you somewhere.

Now, if none of these work and you still end up in Shmucky Duck Land, then try these:

4) Reference Dingoblog on your projects.

5) Wear a purple wig when/if you graduate from whatever grade you are in. (I did for 8th grade gradiashun!)

6) Have a coup and overthrow the Student Congress. (Those little plastic cafeteria knives can be very useful in a revolution, ya know)

7) Watch House and write down all the big medical words you hear. Then, use them to describe why you don’t feel good and have to go home.

8 ) On the first day, wear your nastiest, most beat-up old clothes and flip the bird to all the kids who went on extensive back to school shopping trips and spent too much time deciding what to make their first impression in. (Helps if you didn’t bathe recently and have fleas)

9) In the inevitable “What I Did Last Summer” report, go into detail about how that carnival corn dog gave you the runs. If you are really motivated, include illustrations.

10) Spel evreeting rong.

Oh, and a book you could write a report on is The Fantastic Adventures of Tuberculosis the Trainby Dingo. It is a children’s book written for a kid I know who reeeaaalllyy loves trains. It is his birthday on September 13th. I believe this book out awesomes the capitalist agenda of Thomas the Tank Engine.

Look! Dingo (right) and Leon Trotsky even make cameos!

 I ask my younger comrades to come back around April 2011, and I’ll help you skip on May Day!

Not only will Dingo eat your baby, she will kill your GRANDMA!

And feed her to you, as well as all the other old people in the world! This ground up trichen ah furtz in a can will be equally distributed to everyone, and you will all wear grey jumpsuits after Obama’s plans go through! How do I know this? Well, I am helping Obama turn the US into a Stalinist dictatorship! I have known Obama for his whole life. I even helped deliver him when he was born in Kenya! In fact, we have matching motorcycle jackets made of puppy leather. We don’t ride for the freedom of the open road, because we hate freedom! And your grandma! This is why she will be ground up and fed to you, and you better not complain. You also better not complain about your first-born child being given to the government for taxes to pay for the healthcare for some shlub who can’t afford it for themself and their family because they work for a company without a good union and will be fired if they complain! Or, some slacker middle class people who didn’t know that their current plan didn’t cover something! So, all the hard work you did coming from a well-to-do family is DOWN THE CRAPPER! HA HA!! Still, maybe you can prevent all this from happening by yelling, threatening with a gun, and making a complete idiot of yourself at a town hall meeting instead of listening to what the President has to say!

(note: This ain’t true. The scenarios about why people may not have healthcare, true, though. And, I am not old enough to have helped deliver our President. I’m not a Stalinist, I am a Marxist. GO UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE! DEATH PANELS AREN’T REAL!)

Whats Up With FRIB?

They’re makin’ cool videos, I know that much.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here, here, and here.

One of the videos is kind of a “movie trailer”. It’s pretty sweet, if you ask me.

The other is a Rare Isotope Rap created by Alpinekat (Katie McAlpine, MSU alumnus of LHC rap fame). Physics is gangsta, yo!

I should also mention that I own one of those FRIB shirts. They saved one for me, which made me feel special. Whenever I wear it, people seem to search for FRIB and find my blog more. Coincidence?

I wonder if any of the MSU physicists or other FRIB people still read Dingoblog. If you do, can you please tell me when the atom smasher is scheduled to be finished? I read 2017 a while back, but I wasn’t sure if it had changed.

The coffee mug that will worry your boss!

 

Yuppers, that IS the mug of the Communist Party USA (CPUSA). I like them a bit better than Workers World Party, since they don’t seem to be big China fans (they say that they have done a few good things, but they dislike the human rights violation. WWP thinks Tibet shouldn’t be freed. WTF, comrades?). They seem to think the same of the USSR and Cuba. I am considering joining.

Anyway, here is a scenerio of some guy who took his CPUSA coffee mug to work.

Bob: (sitting in cube)

Bob’s boss: (comes in) Hey, Bob, can you work late today? Also, can you put ink in the printer?

Bob: (Takes long drink of coffee with mug’s design prominently displayed) Ohhh, so you want ME to refill the printer and work late today??? (Cold stare)

Boss: Oh, wait, I meant to ask Joe! Heh, heh… Why don’t ya take the day off? Maybe a raise, too? (Nervous smile) (backs away slowly)

There is also the same design on a travel mug, so you can get held up at the airport, make everyone nervous, and end up on that list with ME!!

I should be the mascot for a breakfast cereal called “Dingoberry Crunch”.

Or not.

Anyway, I got a computer virus for my birthday, and I am currently using the ‘puter at the ‘brary.  Yay.

Merry Dingoday!!!

Many years ago, on July 18th, a woman in a hospital pushed a kid out of her uterus. Little did she know, the little girl grew up to become an insane communist blogger named Dingo. Therefore, don’t set your standards too high, mums of the world.

So, cake anyone? A birthday hat with a red star?

LETS PAAARR-TAAYY!!